fun with languages

so berak means poo poo in bahasa I think.

the smell of your berak is imberable!

I am constipated, and unberakable!

squint your eyes, show your teeth, wiggle your butt and start the berak dancing

Temptations

I did terrible on my first exam.
I keep thinking about why I am in engineering.
Why didn't I just go to some kind of other program that I'll be better in (not sure what)something less demanding that my brain can maybe handle better.
something I am naturally good at.

during these stressful times, I am also very vulnerable to temptations on the internet, and often fail.
sitting in my room, I just want to get away from it all for awhile.
and for the first day.
that is what I did.
I gave into the temptation.
I did those unpleasing things in order to get rid of those unpleasant stress.
of course it felt good.
of course it was wrong.

I needed to stop.
as much as I decide to do the right thing,
as much the devil tempts me with false reasons and excuses.
I had one where I only watched halfway, and I really wanted to finish watching it.

In the end, I really need to just stick to the word of God, and not accept anything else in my troubled and tired head.

so next day, instead of reaching for a website
I reached for the bible.
temptation came to me again.
right after my readings, after my prayers.
they were always there.
felt like the waves in phuket that just wants to take me away
one wave after another it goes on and on and on.
Even the biggest rocks will be affected in time.

Although I was very close to failing again, I am happy to say that I choose GOd over pleasure in the end, and that has made a big difference in the direction of my days and life.
behind those temptations and lures, there is nothing.
behind the words of God, there is truth.
I know that more now when I've followed them with faith.
It is one small victory in my time of failures.
a very important one never the less!
I still think small decisions like this will really determine who you are.
Its faith being developed.
Thank God for helping me this time to go the right way.
I couldn't have done it on my own.
I wrote this down so I won't forget.

Phuket trip

The trip to Thailand went well.
clean beaches with white sand and clear skies!
makes you forget everything for a while.
clears my big complicated mind :P
I forgot about my sickness when the waves hit me and tossed me around.

towards the end though, I really wanted to come back to Singapore.
I think its a good trip if by the end of it, you start to appreciate where you come from even more, and you go back with a fresh appreciation for the blessing.

like they say right, never know what you got until its gone!

Thoughts at night

I've passed my bed time, and I find it hard to sleep now.
maybe write about recent feelings

I have learnt that my heart is very very deceitful.
It wants different things everyday, and if I were to follow it, it would take me too far away from where I need or want to be.
it is a raging bull that has no purpose or direction or control.
storming to everything that enrages or catches its attention be it only a red blanket.
why should I listen to it and run through many red blankets?
I should not listen to it that way.
It is the peace of God that will guard it!

Should I keep it? When I think during the clear day, the answer is no.
So then I try to let go, really try to let go, but at the end of the day when night comes all I want to do it keep it with me.
I pray about it, go ahead with whatever I am doing, and I have the peace of God with me always.
I will trust in God, and not my heart.