Temptations

I did terrible on my first exam.
I keep thinking about why I am in engineering.
Why didn't I just go to some kind of other program that I'll be better in (not sure what)something less demanding that my brain can maybe handle better.
something I am naturally good at.

during these stressful times, I am also very vulnerable to temptations on the internet, and often fail.
sitting in my room, I just want to get away from it all for awhile.
and for the first day.
that is what I did.
I gave into the temptation.
I did those unpleasing things in order to get rid of those unpleasant stress.
of course it felt good.
of course it was wrong.

I needed to stop.
as much as I decide to do the right thing,
as much the devil tempts me with false reasons and excuses.
I had one where I only watched halfway, and I really wanted to finish watching it.

In the end, I really need to just stick to the word of God, and not accept anything else in my troubled and tired head.

so next day, instead of reaching for a website
I reached for the bible.
temptation came to me again.
right after my readings, after my prayers.
they were always there.
felt like the waves in phuket that just wants to take me away
one wave after another it goes on and on and on.
Even the biggest rocks will be affected in time.

Although I was very close to failing again, I am happy to say that I choose GOd over pleasure in the end, and that has made a big difference in the direction of my days and life.
behind those temptations and lures, there is nothing.
behind the words of God, there is truth.
I know that more now when I've followed them with faith.
It is one small victory in my time of failures.
a very important one never the less!
I still think small decisions like this will really determine who you are.
Its faith being developed.
Thank God for helping me this time to go the right way.
I couldn't have done it on my own.
I wrote this down so I won't forget.